new tricks?

today I had an experience the result of which made me feel almost physically sick

it was a reminder that somethings never change, but one can perhaps choose to "not go there"

or can one? are there somethings - some people, to be more exact - well, one person to be really exact in my case - who are/is present in our lives/my life whether we/I choose it or not and as such have to be dealt with and upon dealing with that person/s we/I subject ourselves/myself time and time again to the same abuse
*heavy sigh*
even just writing that paragaph, and editing it to focus my attention on the relevant bit, then reading it back makes me shake my head in disbelief
I handled it "well", at the time - didn't loose my cool, didn't blurt out something that wouldn't be well received
and yet just in doing that I'm not being honest, am I?
for @*$#%?&!* sake I'm a 45 year-old grown-up, aren't I? shouldn't I be able and entitled to be honest? if I can't be honest, I'm not doing myself any favours, am I?
even writing this makes me shake again
how much time and energy do I want to invest in this person over and over, when it always seems to end up the same way. . .
perhaps even sitting here writing this is investing energy that would otherwise be well spent elsewhere
back to the laundry for me!
I hope you had a stress free day - and if you didn't, I hope you have something relaxing to look forward to this evening
(and g*d [or your favourite chosen deity] bless NOBGM for being there to listen to me when I needed a friend)


Dave said...

I'm sorry reading about the cricket team upset you so much.



Dave said...

Just back from doctors. No longer infectious, so offers a good morning hug.

I, Like The View said...

infectious? crikey. . .

thanks for the hug


just what I needed



a fairy said...

Rudeness and arrogance are unmistakable signs of weakness and insecurity.
Kindness and polite consideration are indicators of rock-solid confidence and strength.
How do you treat those whom you have no reason to impress, from whom you have nothing to gain?
It says a lot about you, and people do notice.

Mel said...

Well then. I see the fairy has been by to offer up a tid-bit this morning.

((((((((((( ILTV ))))))))))))))

Hard moment in time.
I'm very glad NOBGM was there for you to talk to.

(((((((((((( ILTV )))))))))))

I, Like The View said...

thank you dearheart for taking the time from what's going on end

thank you

Mel said...

BTW--you were honest.

You told the truth to NOBGM. Which is a very good thing. I'm glad you have that safe place where you can say what's true.

Having that has only served to strengthen me.
I'll trust it will do the same for you.

(((((((((((( ILTV ))))))))))))))

Mel said...

Coffee is required, no matter the circumstances going on around me.

Coffee is ALWAYS required. LOL
That and a check in on people that matter to me.
THAT serves to strengthen me as well, yaknow!

I, Like The View said...

yup - coffee is a good thing (especially when shared with a friend)

and it was strengthening to tell the truth


Mel said...


Coffee shared with a good friend WHILE telling the truth--very powerful, strengthing thing!

<-- has a fresh pot!!! :-)

Yeah, yeah...cuz ya know if SOME is good--- ;-)

I, Like The View said...

<--- goes off to make her first pot of the day (yup - the machine is stil broken)

Spadoman said...

Mind if I pull up a chair and have a cup? I'll just sit here and listen.

Sorry you're having heavy sighs and such. The coffee is a really good idea.

katherine. said...

there is a person around who I would disappoint the fairies...

mig said...

It's really not fair that such people can do that to you. I've got one of those myself - just thinking about her makes me feel all wrong.

I'm so glad you had NOBGM to tell to and be open with.
Big hugs

I, Like The View said...

thanks again mig x

katherine erm. . . I'm a little confused. . . ??

man you listen along all you care too! and you're right, coffee is a good thing