for Dave and Mel

If I were a rich man with a million or two
I'd live in a penthouse in a room with aview. . .
And if I were handsome it could happen
Those dreams do come true
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you
.
Can I tell you something? For years I have envied
Your grace and your charm, everyone loves you, you know?
I must admit it you always come through
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you
You and me together that's how it always should be
One without the other don't mean nothing to me
.
I wouldn't be nothin' if I didn't have you to serve
I'm just a punky little eyeball and a funky optic nerve
Hey, I never told you this sometimes I get a little blue
But I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you
.
Let's dance!
Look Ma I'm dancin'! Would you let me lead?
Look at that, it's two big guys who're light on their feet
Don't you dare dip me! Ow! I should have stretched
.
Yes I wouldn't be nothin if I didn't have you
I wouldn't know where to go or know, what to do
I don't have to say it 'cause we both know it's true
I wouldn't have nothin' if I didn't have you. . .
A-E-I-O that means you!
(Yeah!)

written by the totally brilliant Randy Newman
as sung by very talented Billy Crystal and John Goodman