all of a sudden, I'm feeling very old

which I'm not, only being 45 and all
but when one of your parents (the one you liked) died at the age of 55 after a couple of years of, it turned out, untreatable illness, sometimes you do wonder. . .
. . .on the other hand, there was no point going thru what I experienced last year only to then have it all come to an unexpected halt
which leaves me contemplating matters that I usually try to avoid - things more than a few days out into the future
which is progress, of sorts, I mean for a long time I wasn't able to think about the next hour - let alone the next day
taking the ages of my grandparents into consideration, there is a chance I might live another 37 years - almost a whole other lifetime
or perhaps I'll be run over by a bus tomorrow
but whatever becomes of me, I need to start thinking about not just tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, but a little further into the future
that scares me
time for the liquorice allsorts
(yes, I saw them when I was looking in the "L"s
for the London bus. . .) (thanks goodness!)


Mel said...

Yaknow--'stuff' forces me to move out of today and into some forward planning. It just gets to happen. But invaribly I pull myself back in to today and plant my feet firmly.
It's what I have--yaknow?

There have been difficult times no doubt.....but where you are today...where I am today.... is not where we were--which is amazing. Heck--I didn't even know I moved! Some things just evolve without our noticing--until we notice 'em. I'm betting that's a good thing for a gal like me who sorta kinda mostly resists change. LOL

((((((((((((( ILTV )))))))))))))

zIggI said...

I don't know when you wrote this, but you know, tomorrow is going to happen anyway and the day after ad infinitum, so don't be worrying and planning too much :)

mig said...

I know that feeling old feeling :)

I usually notice it most when I'm actually feeling extremely childish and as if I never grew up and then it's really weird to think I'm older than my Mother was when she died and now I'm chasing my Dad.
And that little skinny kid I used to be is still me even though I'm not her any more.
It's all really very confusing - or am I just having a senior moment?

katherine. said...

I am way thankful you've come to where you are today.

I, Like The View said...

katherine. me too, me too. . . altho sometimes I do wonder about all the tomorrows

mig I think senior moments are full of wisdom (or, they will be when you have them - you're not old enough yet for those!)

ZiggZ I will bear that in mind, thank you

Mel thanks for the hug - they work both ways, dontchaknow!