ennui

I used to think boredom was a bad thing

so I helped in school, the pupils and the PTA, made cup cakes, created things that other people wanted to purchase, went out a lot with my friends, became a fledgling printer and bookbinder, BVed in a band

yadda yadda

these days, if I "feel" bored I see it as a good thing

I think that it means that I have mastered the art of coping with my life - three part-time children and a house; or at least, for the short while that I experience the boredom I "think" I'm coping
.
which, given that I didn't cope for a while, can only be a positive
.
I don't miss the school, the PTA, the cup cakes, the creations, the going out, the printing and bookbinding, the singing and the dancing
.
strange, isn't it
.
how one's life changes, moves on, how one's priorities can re-establish themselves. . .
.
. . .today I had a reminder of a while back, when I read something someone had written about Proud Mary
.
I left a good job in the city
Working for the man every night and day
And I never lost one minute of sleeping
Worrying 'bout the way things might have been
Big wheel keep on turnin'
Proud Mary keep on burnin'
And were rollin', rollin'
Rollin' on the river

Cleaned a lot of plates in Memphis
Pumped a lot of 'tane down in New Orleans
But I never saw the good side of the city
'Till I hitched a ride on a riverboat queen
Big wheel keep on turnin'
Proud Mary keep on burnin'
And we're rollin', rollin'
Rollin' on the river

If you come down to the river
I bet you gonna find some people who live
You don't have to worry
If you got no money
People on the river are happy to give
.
and it reminded me of how LFV used to do her Tina Turner and how Thea and LMV and I all used to dance that "rollin'" in perfect synch and the audience would be dancing it too and everyone would be singing their heads off
.
I do kinda miss those gals and guys a little sometimes, but their lives have all changed and moved on and I guess they have different priorities now
.
I know I do
.
and I guess that brings me certain comfort, when I'm twiddling my thumbs (I've been knitting fingerless mittens this week - even The Teen was impressed, and requested a pair in black)(well, it would hardly be any other colour now would it); today I put aside the knitting and sorted thru about five cupboards and managed to throw out (I'm including "recycle" in "throw out")(we have to be so PC these days - I told Mini-Teen that when I was her age noone even knew about global warming and she told me that that didn't get me off the hook) six bags of things I don't want, need or use anymore (I'm figuring that two-and-a-half year old sparkly cup cake decorations should probably have been in some kind of bin quite a while ago now) (and no, clever clogs, I didn't have six bags of sparkly cup cake decorations - that's just an example) (and yes, I think I had too much "stuff" at one stage in my life. . .) (oh, and I also swept and hoovered the courtyard - on the basis that some of the sweepings just wouldn't go into the dustpan and I had the hoover to hand anyhow)
.
it proved a very cathartic and exhausting exercise - which was good, because by the time I'd finished I'd forgotten how frustrated and on edge I'd been when I'd started
.
I remember a few years ago how I used to feel frustrated and on edge, and I suppose what I've been thru has been exhausting and eventually I'll get to the cathartic stage, won't I
.
won't I?
.
I mean, eventually one gets to wherever one is "moving on" to, doesn't one?
.
(YIKES!)
(is this it?)
.
in the meantime, there are quite a few more cupboards to go. . .

8 comments:

Mel said...

utter weariness and discontent resulting from satiety or lack of interest

Doesn't sound like that's the case anymore, ILTV. Or maybe I interpretted this wrong.
It's not a bad thing to awaken to discover what once was all so darn important, just isn't today.
In my case, that was a darn good awakening--even if it was a bit disturbing at the onset.
And as one who doesn't 'arrive' at the destination--let me say I'm glad for the journeys. I move on to different......but I think I'm far from 'arrived', yaknow?

Himself sucked up the leaves on the patio with the leaf sucker upper thingy--I was soooooo sad.
BUT!!
More leaves cometh!
:-)

Mel said...

<-- cleaned cupboards whilest himself was absent

<-- smiled when I read Teen wanted fingerless muttons.

Sorrow said...

thats a lot of questions,
activities
and introspection for my dull brain today.
sigh
boredom....
I don't know her, I hear she is what causes people to do pta thins, but I don't do social, so i wouldn't know.
and changes, are good,bad and indifferent, but necessary to living.
so we roll..
I love rolling , I imagine stones tunes, and old country ballads, ( roll on Mississippi) and other odd songs..
when your done with your cupboards, and sweeping, I know a place where you could come and help...
:)

Dave said...

I'm glad you're moving on.

I, Like The View said...

Dave me too! thanks X

sorrow I bet I'd find interesting things in your cupboard!!

Mel I'm focussing on the journey, really I am. . . and trying to enjoy the moments without wondering about the next ones or the overall destination

and in the meantime I'll knit The Teen his black hand warmers! (gotta love him, eh - he was so suspicious, then he put on the pair I'd just finished - dark red with aqua - and gave me a full description of how his were going to be different. . . made my evening!)

Mel said...

Well then--black and different they shall be!

<-- thinks we should have a photo of the finished product.

:-D

mig said...

I so remember the black/different phase :) It's hard being a boy/Teen sometimes.

Agreeing with Mel - I believe in journeys.
I think by the time you get to where you're moving on to, it's nearly time to move on to the next thing. There's aways a new place to head for isn't there?

katherine. said...

catching up quickly....but must say...

there is something about this post that made my heart happy...